A Catharsis

My first blog.  I never thought I would be doing this. 

I read at least a dozen different types of blogs every week. Let it be personal, political, satirical, I now understand why people write them. Everyone just wants to be heard, to release their many thoughts they have kept bottled up. Its an emotional and almost spiritual release to let out what you have seen or thought during the day. I don't do that enough. I was raised to never speak of real feelings. I was told to keep everything locked inside stemming from the ludicrous reason that it was no one's business. I look at what I do for a living and what I get to see each day. Someone should hear about it. 

I am a bouncer in a few East Village bars in New York City.  It is not as great as it sounds. Some believe that its all about doing shots, looking at scantily clad, drunken coeds, and beating the bejeezus out of someone for doing something stupid. People get the Sam Elliot, Patrick Swayze, rose-colored glasses on and the Roadhouse comparisons start. Its not even remotely that entertaining. I have been doing this for over a decade and the novelty is gone. You become the unofficial host that no one is happy to see. Underage children are taking a crap shoot as to see if their fake IDs are good enough.  That slim hope you won't notice they have their friend's ID. My favorite to date was an alabaster skinned, redhead that produced a hispanic girl's ID and argued that it was her. People that have been to a half dozen other bars, stumbling up to you and pretending they are sober enough to come in. Temporarily, like it or not, you have become the foster parent to an adult turned child that will possibly try to hit you, puke on you, and tell you how much they hate you before the night over. Its Romper Room, but with a coke dealer hiding in the toy box.  

I am privileged to witness the impaired actions of society. You can see someone's true nature in two forms. When they are angry and when they are drunk.  As a bouncer, you get to see both from someone.  You could have the nicest, most generous person you know in a bar. After a dozen Bud Lights and six shots of whiskey, he or she might be trying to beat you senseless over an off handed comment about The Jets. Please don't take me as jaded. Not everyone that drinks becomes THAT person. Its just my job to remove THAT person before it escalates.  Other people become five kinds of hysterical when they drink. You get to see an amazingly, free comedy act. Its similar to law enforcement in that sense. Its 98% boredom, with 2% of excitement. Bouncers stand around all night unnoticed, watching everything you do. 

Its where the title of blog comes in. I am a Professional Witness of Poor Life Decisions. People will perform the most ridiculous actions without considering someone sober has seen it. In the coming days, I'll post what I see. I am looking forward to what others think about it. I hope it brings a good laugh and debate.